English Teachers Ben Weiler and Christian Tomsey Reveal Secret Past

By EJ Spencer

On April 1, 2012 current Dominican High School English teacher Ben Weiler revealed his double life as comedian Pen Jillette.

Pen Jillette has been made famous for his performances with his silent comedic partner Teller. Teller takes a vow of silence during his comedy performances but outside he uses his voice to teach students at Dominican High School.

Christian Tomsey admitted to being the “quiet little man” and stated “ordinarily Penn—whom you students know as Weiler—does the talking for both of us so it is nice to be able to use my voice. Unfortunately students never listen to what I say which is why I choose to make my voice more reclusive which gives off the impression that I am judging them. I am in fact judging them but that is beside the point. By this time the students reading this have stopped caring about what I have to say so I will leave you with big words like obsequious and vacuous and will once again take a vow of silence.”

Weiler was asked why he decided to take on two careers simultaneously; he responded by saying “I am the best. I can have two running careers at the same time, a lovely family, appear on the Celebrity Apprentice every Sunday at 8:00PM, and manage my Pumas on the softball field. Did I mention I can juggle? Basically I am a beast. I am a puma.”

Tomsey was asked to comment on Weilers statement. Tomsey said “…” He went on to say “…”

Senior student Heather Stern was asked by Mr. Weiler to say how amazing and accomplished he is. Stern said “My grade depends on this. He told me to say he is the best teacher in this dimension and that no one can ever reach his level.”

Weiler had left the interview to record next weeks Celebrity Apprentice episode before he could answer the last question so we asked his comedic partner and long time best friend Christian “Teller” Tomsey to take his place. We asked Tomsey how he personally feels about Weiler and his self proclaimed talent. Tomsey said “…” and Stern agrees.