The Kids from Kidz Bop Accused of Kidnapping

By Elizabeth Wycklendt

After the disappearances of Lea Michele and Chris Colfer, cast members from the popular television program Glee, the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) began questioning the children of Kidz Bop. Feuding between the two groups began after the immediate success of Glee in late May 2009.

Gossip magazines have been claiming that the Glee cast has been receiving threaten letters for over a year. Cory Monteith, who plays Finn Hudson on Glee, stated “We never really took the letters seriously. I mean we thought it was a joke because the spelling was so off.”  The FOX Broadcasting Company has recently released a portion of one of the letters that was sent to the Glee cast, “Your refusal to cancel your program is unwise decision.  If no immediate action iz taken to end the program, we will end it ourselvez. U have been warned.”

Kevin Reilly, the president of FOX, stated “Every year we receive hundreds of letters demanding some of our shows to be back on the air or cancelled, but nothing like this has ever happened.” The LAPD questioned the kids of Kidz Bop almost a year ago, but the kids denied all accusations. The LAPD advised the cast members of Glee to ignore the letters and continue to air their show because they believed that the letters were harmless. As the letters became more demanding, the LAPD sent in experts to decode the letters being sent; a reexamination of the kids from Kidz Bop was highly recommended. When talking to the police, the several of the kids were implying that two of the singers, Justin Time (10) and Hannah Banana (9), may know more about the disappearances than they are willing to admit.

When asked to retire from the Kidz Bop franchise Time and Banana refused to leave, claiming that they are the “heart and soul” behind the music. Contrary to their high opinions of themselves, Time and Banana have been known to unprofessional during recording sessions by showing up intoxicated or high.

After several desperate attempts to regain their fans through Christmas and Eater albums, Kidz Bop nearly shut down; Time and Banana became more unprofessional during this time. Inside sources have said that Time and Banana tortured the manager repeatedly until he agreed to give them and Kidz Bop another chance.

Shortly after the unsuccessful release of Kidz Bop 43, Michele and Colfer were reported missing and Time and Banana appeared strangely happy. Time and Banana claimed that the reason behind their happiness was because they recently completed the Alcohol Anonymous twelve step program. After a recent report of two hung-over children, a trashy young girl in a sequence tube top and a “want-to-be gangster” boy, stealing boxes of wine the LAPD arrested Time and Banana; the LAPD will further question Time and Banana in next few days.